What to do if…
a colleague sends you aggressive or intimidating messages outside of working hours

What to do now

1. Create a safer pause. Stop replying, mute the conversation, and turn on do not disturb for that contact. If there is an immediate threat of violence, a crime in progress, or someone is in immediate danger, call 999 first.
2. Save the messages before changing settings. Take screenshots showing the sender, dates, times, and full wording. If the platform allows it, export or save the conversation. Keep the originals if you can.
3. Make a short factual log. Write down when the messages arrived, what channel they used, whether it was your personal phone or work chat, whether anyone else saw it, and whether it affected your sleep, safety, or ability to work.
4. Move away from personal channels. After saving what you need, silence personal channels and keep any necessary contact to work email or work chat. If you need to block them on a personal account to feel safe, save the evidence first.
5. Send one boundary message only if it feels safe. For example: “I am not available outside working hours. Please keep messages work-related and respectful. We can address this during working time.” Then stop replying.
6. Report it through a work route. Contact your line manager, HR, another manager named in your policy, or a trade union representative if you have one. Say it is about aggressive out-of-hours messages and ask how it will be recorded and handled.
7. Be clear if your manager is involved. If the person sending the messages is your manager, or you do not feel safe raising it with your manager, go to HR, another appropriate manager, or the route named in your workplace policy.
8. Use the grievance route if needed. Many workplace problems are raised informally first, but a formal grievance may be appropriate if the messages are serious, repeated, discriminatory, threatening, or informal action has not worked. Follow your employer’s grievance policy and keep your account factual.
9. Ask about being accompanied in formal meetings. If a formal grievance meeting is arranged, ask in writing whether you can bring a companion. This is usually a work colleague, a certified workplace trade union representative, or an official employed by a trade union.
10. Flag protected-characteristic links clearly. If the aggression refers to something like age, sex, disability, race, religion or belief, sexual orientation, pregnancy and maternity, gender reassignment, or marriage and civil partnership, say this when reporting it and keep the messages.
11. Use police routes for safety concerns. If contact becomes persistent and unwanted, includes threats, or makes you fear for your safety, consider reporting it outside work as well. Use 999 for emergencies and 101 or online reporting for non-emergencies.