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What to do if…
a coworker, manager, or other person keeps making unwanted sexual comments or messages

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

If someone is in immediate danger or a crime is in progress, move to a safer place and call 999. Otherwise, end the current interaction, tell someone you trust, and use a workplace or specialist advice route without confronting the person.

Do not do these things

  • Do not meet the person alone to confront them.
  • Do not send threats, insults, or retaliatory messages.
  • Do not make a secret recording without first getting advice, as workplace rules and data protection issues may apply.
  • Do not resign while panicked without getting prompt employment advice.
  • Do not post details publicly or circulate them through workplace group chats.
  • Do not let anyone pressure you into confronting the person, contacting the police when there is no emergency, or staying silent.

What to do now

  1. End the conversation or message exchange. If you are with the person and feel unsafe, move to a shared or secure area, contact workplace security, or ask a trusted colleague to stay with you.
  2. Mute incoming notifications if the messages are overwhelming. You do not need to reply, explain yourself, or tell the person directly to stop if doing so feels unsafe.
  3. If it feels safe, keep the original messages and make one brief note of the dates, times, places, words used, and any witnesses.
  4. Tell one trusted person, such as a colleague, manager, HR contact, trade union representative, or trained workplace adviser. If your manager is involved, choose someone outside their management line.
  5. Check your employer’s sexual harassment, dignity at work, conduct, or grievance policy. You can ask for a formal complaint route straight away if the behaviour feels too serious for an informal approach.
  6. Ask for practical measures that reduce contact now, such as no one-to-one meetings, communication through another person, or a temporary change of workspace, duties, or rota.
  7. Get advice promptly if you may want to preserve employment-law options. Contact Acas if you work in England, Scotland, or Wales, or the Equality Commission for Northern Ireland and the Labour Relations Agency if you work in Northern Ireland, because strict time limits may apply.
  8. If the behaviour has escalated to threats, stalking, unwanted touching, or assault, contact a specialist sexual violence service. You can seek support without first deciding whether to report to the police.

What can wait

You do not need to decide now whether to resign, contact the police when there is no emergency, start legal proceedings, tell the wider workplace, or confront the person. A detailed written account and longer-term employment decisions can wait until you have support, although prompt advice about possible time limits should not.

Important reassurance

You do not need to know the correct legal label before asking for help. Unwanted sexual comments or messages may amount to sexual harassment even if the person calls them jokes, flirting, or workplace banter. Freezing, replying briefly, laughing nervously, or not objecting immediately does not mean the behaviour was wanted.

Scope note

This guide covers immediate first steps only. Later decisions about a workplace complaint, tribunal claim, police report, employment changes, or legal action may require help from a trade union, employment adviser, solicitor, or specialist support service.

Important note

This is general information, not legal or professional advice. Employment law and tribunal procedures differ between Great Britain and Northern Ireland, so use the advice service for the part of the UK where you work. Call 999 if a crime is in progress or someone is in immediate danger.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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