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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
a manager or supervisor makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe during one-to-one meetings

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Move the interaction back into a clearly work-only channel: ask for an agenda, use a normal work setting or online work channel, and avoid being alone if that feels unsafe. Get confidential support before deciding whether to make any formal complaint.

Do not do these things

  • Do not go into a private or isolated space with them just because you feel you cannot say no.
  • Do not try to manage it by being extra friendly, apologising, or joking along if it feels unsafe.
  • Do not confront them alone in a closed room or outside work when you feel shaken.
  • Do not delete messages, emails, calendar invites, or chat logs if you can keep them safely.
  • Do not resign, sign anything, or agree to an informal solution while you are in panic mode.
  • Do not use your work device or work account as your only record of what is happening.

What to do now

  1. Create an immediate safety buffer for the next meeting request.

    • If a meeting is imminent, move it to a busier or more neutral setting, such as an open-plan area, a meeting room with a window, or a work video call.
    • If you do not feel safe attending, send a short message saying you need to reschedule.
    • Ask for a written agenda and suggest a time-limited slot during normal working hours.
    • If you want another person present, say something work-focused such as: “I’m bringing X because we are covering priorities and I want them aligned.”

  2. Put the work boundary in writing.

    • Example message: “For 1:1s, please send an agenda in advance and keep them focused on work priorities. I’m available for meetings in [normal meeting room/Teams] during work hours.”
    • If they are messaging you personally, you can write: “Please keep communication to work channels and work topics.”

  3. Start a private, factual log.

    • On a personal device or in a notebook, note the date, time, place, what was said or done, who was present, and how you responded.
    • Keep copies of meeting invites, emails, and messages if you can do this safely and without relying only on a work account.
    • Avoid making secret recordings unless you have taken advice, because workplace recordings can create legal, disciplinary, or privacy complications.

  4. Choose one safer internal route that is not the person involved.

    • This could be HR, your manager’s manager, a trained harassment or dignity-at-work contact, a union representative, or an employee assistance programme.
    • You do not have to make a formal complaint in the first conversation. You can ask: “What are my options for keeping 1:1s professional and safe?”

  5. Get confidential specialist support if you feel threatened, coerced, frozen, or unsure.

    • In England and Wales, Rape Crisis England & Wales has a 24/7 Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Line for people aged 16+ on 0808 500 2222 and an online chat option.
    • In Scotland, Rape Crisis Scotland has a free helpline on 08088 01 03 02 every day, 5pm to midnight, and also offers text and email contact.
    • If anything physical happened, or you are worried it might, NHS information can help you understand urgent healthcare and sexual assault referral centre options without forcing you to report to police.

  6. If you are in immediate danger or need urgent medical help, treat it as an emergency.

    • Get to a safer place if you can.
    • Call 999 if you are at risk right now or need urgent medical help.

What can wait

  • Deciding whether you want a formal HR process, grievance, employment tribunal route, or police report.
  • Writing a long statement or collecting perfect evidence.
  • Telling lots of colleagues or trying to warn others.
  • Any decision about leaving the job, especially if you feel panicked, ashamed, or pressured.

Important reassurance

Your discomfort is a valid signal. When there is a power imbalance, sexualised behaviour can feel confusing and destabilising even if it is presented as friendliness, mentoring, or normal management. You are allowed to set work boundaries and ask for support without proving everything first.

Scope note

These are first steps to stabilise the situation, increase immediate safety, and buy time. Later decisions about complaints, employment advice, healthcare, or police contact may need specialist support.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, financial, therapeutic, or other professional advice. If you feel unsafe, prioritise immediate safety and confidential support.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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