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What to do if…
a partner pressures you to drink or take substances against your will

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Create a safe pause, get away from them if you can, and contact someone safe. If you think you were given alcohol or drugs without agreeing to it, or you feel suddenly unwell, get urgent medical help.

Do not do these things

  • Do not drink or take something to stop an argument or prove a point.
  • Do not accept an open drink, shot, pill, powder, vape, or food item from them to keep the peace.
  • Do not drink something you did not see opened or poured if you are already worried.
  • Do not leave your drink unattended.
  • Do not let them take your phone, block the door, or separate you from friends if you can avoid it safely.
  • Do not negotiate your boundaries while you feel pressured, intoxicated, confused, or scared.
  • Do not blame yourself if you already drank or took something. Pressure is not consent.

What to do now

  1. Make a safe pause. Use a short line you can repeat: “No. I’m not drinking or taking anything. I’m going to the bathroom, outside, or to call someone.” Move to a public, staffed, or lockable place if you can.
  2. Get physical distance. Leave the room, venue, car, or home if you can do so safely. Go towards other people, staff, a shop, a café, hotel reception, or a transport desk.
  3. Contact a safe person now. Call or message someone you trust with a clear request: “I need you to stay on the phone and help me get home,” or “Please come and get me.” Share your live location if that feels safe.
  4. Ask nearby people for direct help. If you are in a venue, tell staff: “I do not feel safe with the person I came with. Please help me stay away from them and get home.” If you are with friends, ask one person to stay beside you and not leave you alone with your partner.
  5. If there is immediate danger, call 999. Call 999 if you feel trapped, threatened, followed, physically blocked, very unwell, or at risk of being hurt. If you cannot speak safely, still call 999 and follow the operator’s instructions.
  6. If you think you were spiked or drugged, get medical help. Call 999 now if you have severe symptoms such as collapse, breathing problems, seizures, severe confusion, or loss of consciousness. If it is not an immediate emergency but you have symptoms or worries, use NHS 111 or the urgent medical advice route for your part of the UK, a Sexual Assault Referral Centre, A&E, or a sexual health service.
  7. Do not be alone with them if you have consumed anything. Ask staff, a friend, or a trusted person to stay with you until you are somewhere safer. Do not accept more drinks, drugs, food, or lifts from them.
  8. Keep what you already have, only if safe. Do not delete texts, messages, call logs, photos, or location information about the pressure, drinking, drugs, sex, or the situation. Save or screenshot them somewhere private if you can do that without increasing risk.
  9. Make a short private note, only if safe. Write the time, place, what was offered, what was said, what you drank or took, and any sudden symptoms. A notes app, email draft to yourself, or paper kept away from them is enough.
  10. Use specialist support without needing to report. A Sexual Assault Referral Centre can offer medical, practical, and emotional support, and can discuss options even if you are unsure what happened. Rape Crisis England & Wales, domestic abuse services, or the specialist sexual violence service where you are can also support you if sexual pressure, coercion, or fear is involved.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether this counts as abuse, coercion, spiking, or a crime.
  • You do not need to confront them, persuade them, or make them agree with your boundary.
  • You do not need to decide tonight whether to report, leave the relationship, tell family, or make a long-term plan.
  • You do not need to gather more proof right now beyond keeping yourself safe and keeping anything you already have if it is safe to do so.

Important reassurance

Freezing, going quiet, complying to get through the moment, or feeling confused can happen when someone pressures or frightens you. A partner pushing you to drink or take substances after you have said no is serious, and you deserve support without having to justify your boundary.

Scope note

These are first steps only, to help you reach a safer pause and reduce immediate harm. Later decisions about the relationship, reporting, medical care, legal options, or safety planning may need specialist help.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal, medical, therapeutic, financial, or other professional advice. If you feel in immediate danger, call 999. If you think you may have been drugged, spiked, assaulted, or you feel unwell, seek urgent medical help. You can seek specialist support even if you are unsure what happened or do not want to report.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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