What to do if…
a therapist, counsellor, or support worker sends you sexual or inappropriate messages

What to do now

1. Create immediate distance.
   If you can, stop replying. If you need one clear boundary, send: “Do not contact me outside professional channels again.” Then stop engaging.

2. Keep the messages if it feels safe.
   Take screenshots showing the sender, dates, times, and message content, or export the chat. Save them somewhere the person cannot access. You do not need to reread them.

3. Tell one safe person.
   Choose someone calm, such as a friend, family member, colleague, advocate, or another worker you trust. Ask them to stay with you in person or on the phone while you decide what to do next.

4. Avoid being alone with the person.
   Pause appointments or meetings with them if you can. If contact is unavoidable because they control access to care, housing, benefits, or support, ask for contact through a manager, duty worker, supervisor, or main office instead.

5. Ask for a different worker or practitioner.
   If they work for an NHS service, charity, private clinic, university, care provider, or support organisation, you can contact the service’s manager, safeguarding lead, complaints team, or duty contact and say: “I need contact moved away from this person because they have sent sexual or inappropriate messages.” You do not have to give every detail at first.

6. Use specialist support if you want to talk it through.
   In England and Wales, the 24/7 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Line is for people aged 16+ affected by sexual violence, abuse, assault, or harassment. You can call 0808 500 2222 or use online chat. It is not an emergency service. If you are a child or young person in the UK, you can contact Childline on 0800 1111 or use its online chat. If you feel emotionally overwhelmed or at risk of harming yourself, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.

7. Use emergency help if there is immediate danger.
   Call 999 if you are in immediate danger, need urgent medical help, or the person is trying to get to you now. If it is not an emergency but you want police help or advice, you can use 101 or the police online route.

8. Choose one formal route only if and when you want to.
   One step is enough for today. You do not have to speak to the person who crossed the boundary before taking action.

   • If this was NHS care, use the NHS complaints route for the UK nation where the care happened.
   • If they work for an organisation, charity, university, private clinic, care service, or support service, report to the manager, safeguarding lead, complaints team, or duty contact and ask for a different worker.
   • If they are a BACP or UKCP member, you can check their membership and use that body’s complaints process.
   • If they are on the HCPC Register, such as some practitioner psychologists or other regulated health and care professionals, you can raise a concern with HCPC.
   • If you are unsure what body applies, check their register, profile, employer, or membership details first. Some roles are statutory-regulated, while many counsellors or psychotherapists are not.

9. Use medical or forensic support if anything physical happened or nearly happened.
   A Sexual Assault Referral Centre can offer confidential healthcare and support after rape or sexual assault, whether or not you report to police.