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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
someone at a party keeps trying to isolate you or take you to a private place

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Move to a busy, visible area beside trusted people, venue staff, security, or an exit, and do not go to the private place. Tell someone clearly that you do not want to be alone with this person and ask them to stay with you or help you leave; call 999 if the person is preventing you from leaving, threatening you, or you are in immediate danger.

Do not do these things

  • Do not go somewhere private to avoid awkwardness, test the person’s intentions, or appear polite.
  • Do not let the person hold your phone, bag, keys, drink, or other belongings.
  • Do not accept transport controlled by that person.
  • Do not confront them alone or move away from other people to discuss their behaviour.
  • Do not worry about explaining yourself, calming them down, or protecting the mood of the party.
  • If you think your drink may have been tampered with, do not keep drinking it.

What to do now

  1. Move towards other people, venue staff, security, or a clear exit. Stay where you can be seen and heard.
  2. Choose one trusted person and say directly: “I do not want to be alone with this person. Please stay with me and help me leave.”
  3. Tell the host, bar staff, door staff, or security what is happening. Point the person out and ask staff to keep them away from you while you collect your belongings or arrange to leave.
  4. Leave with someone you trust. Use transport that the person does not control, and do not drive if you may be impaired.
  5. If the person blocks you, takes your phone or keys, threatens you, or prevents you from leaving, call 999. If calling from a mobile and you cannot speak, listen to the instructions; you may be asked to cough or tap, and should press 55 when prompted to reach the police.
  6. If you suddenly feel confused, unusually drowsy, unsteady, very unwell, or much more intoxicated than expected, tell a trusted person or staff member immediately. Ask them to stay with you and get medical help; call 999 if you are seriously unwell or in immediate danger.
  7. If any sexual contact happened without your agreement, or you are unsure what happened, contact a Sexual Assault Referral Centre or NHS sexual assault service for medical, practical, and emotional support. You can ask for support without first deciding whether to report to the police.

What can wait

You do not need to decide now what to call the person’s behaviour, whether they intended harm, whether to report anything, or whether to confront them later. Explaining your departure, replying to messages, speaking to the host, and making decisions about any friendship or relationship can wait until you are somewhere safer and have support.

Important reassurance

You do not need proof or certainty before moving away, asking for help, or leaving. Freezing, going quiet, trying to keep the person calm, or initially agreeing to talk privately does not mean you must stay or continue.

Scope note

This guide covers the immediate steps for reaching a safer pause and getting support. Later medical, reporting, safeguarding, or legal decisions may require help from an appropriate specialist service.

Important note

This is general safety and support information, not legal, medical, or other professional advice. Call 999 if you or someone else is in immediate danger or seriously unwell.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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