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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
someone keeps appearing where you go and making unwanted sexual comments

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Treat this as a safety issue, not something you have to handle alone. At the earliest safe pause, get near other people, tell one trusted person what is happening, and call 999 if you are in immediate danger or think they are nearby waiting for you.

Do not do these things

  • Do not meet them privately to “clear it up”.
  • Do not confront them alone, especially in a quiet place.
  • Do not delete messages, call logs, photos, voicemails, notes, or other records you already have.
  • Do not post about them publicly while you are still trying to make yourself safer.
  • Do not keep the same route or leaving time just to prove you are not scared.
  • Do not wait until you feel certain it is “serious enough” before asking for support or advice.

What to do now

  1. Get to a safer pause. Move into a staffed or busy place if you can, such as a shop, reception desk, library, café, workplace front desk, transport office, or another public area with people nearby.

  2. Tell one trusted person exactly what is happening. Use plain words: the same person keeps turning up at places you go and making sexual comments in public. Ask them to stay with you, meet you after work or class, walk with you, or be your check-in contact for the next few days.

  3. Write a simple incident log today. For each time, note the date, time, place, what they said or did, whether they seemed to be waiting for you or appeared unexpectedly, who saw it, and how it affected you.

  4. Keep existing evidence safe, but do not put yourself at risk to collect more. Save messages, call logs, photos, screenshots, voicemails, and names of witnesses if you already have them.

  5. If the person is nearby now, waiting for you, following you, threatening you, or you feel in immediate danger, call 999. If it is not an emergency, you can report stalking or harassment to police online or call 101 for non-emergency advice.

  6. If this keeps happening at the same place, tell someone responsible there. Ask a manager, security desk, workplace, college, gym, venue, landlord, building reception, or transport staff member to make a record and preserve any relevant CCTV if available.

  7. Make your next journey less predictable where you reasonably can. Change the exact time or route, arrange company for arrival or departure, wait somewhere staffed, or ask someone to stay on the phone with you while you move between places.

  8. Contact a specialist stalking or victim support service whether or not you report now. The National Stalking Helpline can help you think through immediate safety, what details to record, and how to describe the pattern.

What can wait

You do not need to decide today whether to make a formal complaint, seek a long-term legal outcome, explain the whole history perfectly, or tell everyone in your life. You also do not need to decide now whether to keep every routine, change work or study plans, or manage this by yourself.

Important reassurance

Feeling shaken, doubtful, embarrassed, angry, or worried about “making a fuss” is common in this situation. Repeated public sexual comments and someone turning up where you go can be frightening and disruptive, even if other people have not noticed the pattern yet.

Scope note

These are first steps only, focused on immediate safety, support, and preserving options. Later decisions may need specialist help.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, financial, therapeutic, or other professional advice. If you may want to report later, keeping notes and not deleting existing evidence can help, but your safety matters more than collecting more. If a child is involved, or you think the behaviour is escalating quickly, contact police urgently.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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