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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
someone uses secrecy around a relationship to pressure you into sexual acts or images

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Reach a safe pause and do not send images, agree to sexual contact, or meet privately to prevent the relationship being revealed. Contact someone you trust or a specialist sexual violence service, and call 999 if someone is in immediate danger.

Do not do these things

  • Do not keep negotiating while you feel frightened, trapped, or unable to choose freely.
  • Do not send more sexual images, passwords, money, or personal information in response to pressure or threats.
  • Do not meet the person alone if you feel unsafe.
  • Do not confront them or tell them you are seeking support if that could increase the danger.
  • If it is safe, do not delete existing messages in a rush, but do not keep engaging to collect more.
  • Do not blame yourself for trusting them, freezing, complying under pressure, or trying to prevent exposure.
  • Do not make a major decision about the relationship while the pressure is continuing.

What to do now

  1. Reach the earliest safe pause available. Leave the room, end the call, move near other people, or go somewhere the person cannot easily reach you. Call 999 if a crime is in progress or someone is in immediate danger.
  2. Stop the immediate demand. Do not send another image, agree to a sexual act, or arrange a private meeting. Mute the conversation or step away from the device if blocking the person might alert them or increase the risk.
  3. Tell one trusted person what is happening. Say that someone is using secrecy about a relationship to pressure you into sexual acts or images, and ask them to stay with you, call you, or help you reach a safer place.
  4. Contact a specialist sexual violence service in your part of the UK. You can ask for immediate support without first deciding whether to report the person or what to call the experience.
  5. If sexual contact has happened and you have an injury, pregnancy concern, infection concern, or feel unwell, contact a sexual assault referral centre, NHS 111, a sexual health service, or urgent medical care. Sexual assault referral centres can provide medical, practical, and emotional support, and you do not have to report to the police to seek help.
  6. If intimate images have been shared or someone is threatening to share them, contact the Revenge Porn Helpline if you are aged 18 or over and live in the UK. If you are under 18, use Childline’s Report Remove service and contact Childline or a safe adult.
  7. If the person may have access to your accounts, use a device they cannot access where possible. Change affected passwords, sign other devices and apps out, and secure your main email account first.

What can wait

You do not need to decide now whether to report, end the relationship, disclose it to other people, answer every message, or explain why it was secret. Longer-term account changes, legal questions, workplace issues, and decisions about future contact can wait until you are safer and supported.

Important reassurance

Pressure based on secrecy, threats, guilt, or fear of exposure can make it difficult or unsafe to refuse. Freezing, complying, or trying to calm the person does not make the pressure your fault. You can pause contact and seek support without proving what happened or making an immediate report.

Scope note

This guide covers immediate safety and support only. Later decisions about healthcare, reporting, intimate images, employment, or the relationship may require support from a specialist sexual violence service, healthcare professional, or qualified adviser.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, therapeutic, or other professional advice. Support routes and services differ across England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, so use the service covering the part of the UK where you are.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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