What to do if…
you are told a work complaint must be handled informally and you are uncomfortable with that

What to do now

1. Create a pause and set one clear boundary.
   Send a short message: “I’m not comfortable with this being handled informally. Please confirm the formal process and who will handle it.”

2. Ask for the written policy and the correct contact.
   Ask for the grievance policy and, if relevant, any bullying, harassment, discrimination, dignity-at-work, or whistleblowing policy. Also ask: “If my line manager is involved, who should I submit this to?”

3. Choose the safest formal route for the issue.

   • If it is about how you have been treated, a workplace dispute, or a complaint about management, the grievance process is usually the route to ask for.
   • If it is about bullying, harassment, or discrimination, ask whether there is a specific formal policy for that type of complaint.
   • If it is about wrongdoing in the public interest, such as serious safety risk, fraud, or other reportable wrongdoing, ask for the whistleblowing or speak-up route and consider getting advice before making the disclosure.

4. Put the complaint in writing.
   Send a dated email or letter to the person named in the policy, HR, a more senior manager, or another appropriate contact. Keep it factual and short:

   • what happened
   • dates, times, and locations, as best you can
   • who was involved or present
   • what evidence you have
   • what you need now, such as a formal meeting, a different manager handling it, written communication, or no direct contact with the person complained about while it is reviewed

5. Say clearly if direct contact is the problem.
   You can write: “I do not feel comfortable approaching them directly. I am asking for this to be handled through the formal procedure.”

6. Ask for practical protections while it is handled.
   If needed, ask for temporary steps such as a different reporting line, no 1:1 meetings with the person complained about, communication in writing, a neutral person present in discussions, or meetings at a time and place where you can participate safely.

7. Ask for adjustments if health or disability is part of the risk.
   You do not need to overshare. You can say: “For health reasons, I need communication in writing and no direct contact while this is reviewed.” If you are disabled or may be disadvantaged by the process, ask for reasonable adjustments such as extra preparation time, written questions, breaks, remote attendance, or a support arrangement.

8. Ask about being accompanied if a grievance meeting is arranged.
   If there is a formal grievance meeting, ask in writing to bring a companion, such as a colleague or trade union representative. Give their name and role when you can.

9. Keep a clean record.
   Start a timeline with dates, what happened, who was present, what was said, and what happened next. Keep copies of relevant emails, messages, meeting invites, and notes. After calls or meetings, send a brief follow-up email: “My understanding of what we agreed is…”

10. Get confidential outside guidance if the process is blocked.
    Speak to a trade union representative if you have one, or contact Acas for general guidance. If the complaint involves discrimination, harassment, whistleblowing, retaliation, or a possible claim deadline, consider getting independent advice early.