What to do if…
you discover a funeral has been arranged by someone else without your knowledge or consent

What to do now

1. Call the funeral director and ask for a temporary hold.
   Say: “There is a dispute about who can instruct the funeral. Please pause any irreversible actions, especially cremation paperwork, burial or cremation bookings, and public notices, while authority is clarified.”
   Ask for written confirmation of what is already booked, what has been paid, what paperwork has been signed, and what is now on hold.

2. Ask what they relied on to accept instructions.
   Politely ask:

   • who instructed them and what relationship or role they gave
   • whether they have seen any document showing authority, such as a will, executor appointment, administrator appointment or application, death declaration, funeral plan, or written funeral instruction
   • what documents they need before they will continue

3. Find out if there is a will, executor, administrator, or nominated person.
   Do these checks in parallel if possible:

   • Ask close family whether anyone has the will, solicitor details, funeral wishes, or paperwork naming executors.
   • Check the deceased person’s papers, email, phone notes, or safe place for a will, solicitor letter, funeral plan, or “funeral wishes” document.
   • If there is a known solicitor, contact them and ask whether they hold a will and who is named to act. They may limit what they can share, but this can still clarify who should speak to the funeral director.
   • If the funeral is in Scotland, ask specifically whether there is an arrangements on death declaration or other nomination of who should make funeral arrangements.

4. Check for any prepaid funeral plan or written wishes.
   Ask family members and check paperwork, bank records, email, and letters from funeral plan providers. If needed, ask local funeral directors whether a plan exists under the deceased person’s name, then tell the instructed funeral director immediately if you find one.

5. Ask what official paperwork is still needed and whether anything is being rushed.
   Ask whether the death has been registered, whether the coroner or Procurator Fiscal is involved, and what documents are still needed before burial or cremation can happen. Also ask what practical deadline is driving the date, such as a crematorium slot, burial booking, notice deadline, religious requirement, or family travel arrangement.

6. Create one calm point of contact right now.
   Choose one family member to communicate with the funeral director and, separately, with the person who arranged the funeral. Send a short written message: “We are asking for a pause while authority is clarified. Please share who you believe has authority to instruct the funeral director and any documents you are relying on.”

7. If burial or cremation is imminent and the hold is refused, get urgent legal advice.
   Time matters because burial or cremation cannot easily be undone. Ask a solicitor experienced in probate, bereavement, or burial disputes whether any urgent step is available in the part of the UK where the funeral is being arranged.