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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
a client or customer sends sexual messages and you feel unsafe or worried about your work

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy USA guide

Short answer

Move to a safer pause if you can do so safely. Stop replying if it is safe to do so, and tell a workplace reporting contact that a client or customer is sending unwanted sexual messages and you need an immediate arrangement that avoids direct contact. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Do not do these things

  • Do not feel pressure to reply, joke along, apologize, or confront the sender.
  • Do not meet the client or customer alone or continue a private channel if you can avoid it.
  • Do not delete messages in a rush.
  • Do not decide right now whether to make an external complaint, quit, or transfer.
  • Do not assume you have to tolerate sexual messages because the sender is a client or customer.

What to do now

  1. Move to a safer pause. Pause or end the direct interaction if you can do so safely. If you are at work, move near a coworker, manager, or security contact. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
  2. Reduce direct contact. If pausing replies is safe, mute notifications. You do not need to reply just to keep the client or customer calm or preserve the relationship. If a work response is needed, ask for someone else to take over.
  3. Tell an available workplace reporting contact. Keep it brief: “A client or customer is sending unwanted sexual messages. I need an immediate arrangement that avoids direct contact today, and I do not want solo contact with them.”
  4. Ask for immediate arrangements. Ask for the contact to move to a coworker or shared inbox, for any meeting to be canceled or attended by another staff member, and for the front desk or security team to be alerted if the person may arrive in person.
  5. Use another internal route if the first one is not safe or available. This may be another manager, HR, an available reporting line, or another route in your workplace policy.
  6. Preserve only what is manageable. If it feels safe and manageable, keep the existing messages as they are rather than deleting them; you do not need to build a detailed file now.
  7. Use specialist support if you need it. The RAINN hotline link in Additional Resources offers an optional support route.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide the legal label today.
  • You do not need to decide now whether to make an external complaint, quit, transfer, or confront the sender.
  • You do not need to write a perfect account or build a detailed file before asking for help.
  • You do not need to keep handling the client or customer personally while the workplace decides the next arrangement.

Important reassurance

You did not cause these messages. A client or customer can be the source of workplace harassment, and it is reasonable to ask your workplace to respond. Federal protections can depend on the facts and on employer coverage, so you do not need to work out the legal position before asking for immediate support.

Scope note

These are first steps only. Later decisions about workplace processes, external options, or specialist support may need help from an appropriate professional or support organization.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, therapeutic, or other professional advice. Prioritize immediate safety and use 911 if you are in immediate danger.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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