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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
someone you just met follows you and will not take no for an answer

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy USA guide

Short answer

Do not head to your room while they are still following you. Move to a staffed public area, such as a front desk, lobby or campus security desk, and ask another person to help you create distance.

Do not do these things

  • Do not unlock your door while they are beside you.
  • Do not tell them your room number if you can avoid it.
  • Avoid moving into an elevator, stairwell or quiet hallway with them when a staffed public area is available.
  • Do not keep debating or bargaining after you have said no.
  • Do not accept waiting outside your door as a compromise.
  • You do not need to prioritize politeness over reaching support.

What to do now

  1. Move toward other people. Go to a staffed front desk, lobby, busy public area, campus security desk or another place where you can ask for help.
  2. Use one clear sentence if it feels safe. Say: “No. I am not going to my room with you.” Then keep moving toward staff or other people. If speaking feels unsafe, focus on reaching help.
  3. Ask a specific person to help. Say: “I do not know this person well. They will not stop following me. Please stay with me and help me speak to staff or security.”
  4. Ask staff to intervene. At a hotel, hostel, dorm, apartment building or other accommodation, ask staff or security to help prevent the person from following you and explain what immediate safe options are available.
  5. Stay in the public area. Do not head to your room until the person has left or staff have helped you reach a safer option. Ask whether an escort, a room change or another safe arrangement is available.
  6. Call 911 in an emergency. If you are in immediate danger or the person is threatening you, blocking you or trying to force their way with you, dial 911 and state your location.
  7. Contact someone you trust if it is safe to do so. Tell them where you are and ask them to stay on the phone or come to the staffed public area.
  8. Leave existing messages unchanged if that feels safe after you are away from the person.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide now whether to report what happened.
  • You do not need to explain or prove why you feel unsafe.
  • Decisions about complaints, blocking the person or changing rooms can wait until you are separated from them and have support.

Important reassurance

You are allowed to act on discomfort before anything else happens. Someone refusing to accept no is enough reason to seek help, be direct and change your plans without apology.

Scope note

These are first steps to create distance and reach support. Later decisions may need specialist help, and you can consider them on your own terms.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, financial, therapeutic or other professional advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you have been sexually assaulted or are worried that something may have happened, you can seek specialist support and medical care without deciding immediately whether to report.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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