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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
your child tells you someone sexually abused or touched them

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy USA guide

Short answer

Stay calm, believe your child, tell them it was not their fault, and make sure the person they named cannot reach them. Call 911 for immediate danger or an urgent medical need; otherwise, promptly find and contact the correct local child abuse reporting service.

Do not do these things

  • Do not blame your child or respond with anger, disbelief, or visible panic.
  • Do not press for a full account, ask leading or repeated questions, or ask your child to demonstrate anything.
  • Do not confront or warn the person your child named while safety is being arranged.
  • Do not promise to keep the disclosure secret. Explain that you may need to tell people whose job is to keep children safe.
  • Do not make your child decide whether adults should contact child protection or law enforcement.
  • Do not ask your child to repeat the account to relatives, friends, or school staff.
  • Do not post names or details online or share them in group messages.

What to do now

  1. Move your child and any other potentially affected children away from the person they named. If that person is present, expected soon, or threatening anyone, call 911 rather than confronting them.
  2. Say something simple and steady, such as: “I believe you. You did the right thing by telling me. This is not your fault. You are not in trouble.”
  3. Let your child speak in their own words and stop when they want to stop. Ask only what you need to know for immediate safety or medical care, such as whether they are hurt or whether the person can reach them today.
  4. Use Childhelp’s state information to identify the correct child abuse reporting route, then contact the relevant state or local agency promptly. Childhelp can help you find the route but does not itself take abuse reports.
  5. Call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-422-4453 if you need support finding the correct service or talking through the immediate next step. Counselors are available 24 hours a day.
  6. Seek emergency medical care for serious injury, severe pain, bleeding, or another urgent medical concern. Otherwise, contact your child’s pediatrician promptly and ask where a child-focused assessment should take place.
  7. Ask the reporting agency, pediatrician, or Childhelp about a local Children’s Advocacy Center, which may coordinate child-focused interviews, medical care, advocacy, and other services.
  8. Tell only the trusted adults and professionals who need to help. Explain each immediate step to your child in simple terms and offer small safe choices, such as who sits beside them or which comfort item they bring.

What can wait

You do not need to decide today about custody, school arrangements, therapy, court, family relationships, or public statements. A full timeline and repeated account can wait for trained child-focused professionals; concentrate now on safety, support, reporting, and medical needs.

Important reassurance

Your child did the right thing by telling you, and you do not need to solve the entire situation at once. Children may disclose in pieces, pause, retract words, or later describe events differently; this does not by itself mean the original disclosure was false.

Scope note

This guide covers only the first safe response after a child discloses sexual abuse or unwanted touching. Later protective, medical, school, custody, and legal decisions may require a pediatrician, Children’s Advocacy Center, child protection professional, or lawyer familiar with your state.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, mental health, or investigative advice. Reporting requirements and available services vary by state and by a person’s professional role; call 911 when someone is in immediate danger.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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