What to do if…
a client or customer is being verbally abusive and you are expected to keep engaging

What to do now

1. Create a short pause. Take one breath, lower your voice, and use short sentences. Your aim is to slow the situation down and get support, not to persuade them.

2. Use one clear boundary line. Say it once, calmly:

   • “I want to help, but I cannot continue while you speak to me like that.”
   • “If the language continues, I will need to bring in my manager.”
   • “I can continue when this is respectful.”

3. Move the interaction into a safer form.

   • In person, move towards a staffed, open, or visible area.
   • On the phone, say you are placing them on a brief hold while you get support.
   • Online, keep everything inside the official system and stop replying privately.

4. Bring in support early.

   • Use your workplace signal, call button, radio, code word, or direct request.
   • Say to a colleague or manager: “Can you join me now, please.”
   • Ask for a two-person interaction if the customer or client must still be dealt with.

5. Offer one controlled next step.

   • “We can continue with my manager present.”
   • “I am going to get someone else to take over.”
   • “Please put your complaint in writing through our official channel.”

6. If the abuse continues, stop being the direct target.

   • Step back, put the call on hold, stop replying in the live chat, or hand over to a manager.
   • Use simple wording: “I am pausing this conversation because of abusive language. A manager will take over.”
   • If you are told to continue but you feel unsafe, say: “I am not refusing service. I am stepping back because I feel unsafe and need support.”

7. Treat threats or physical escalation as a safety issue.

   • If they threaten to hurt you, threaten to come back, block your exit, follow you, loom over you, damage property, or make you feel in immediate danger, create distance and get to a safer staffed area.
   • Involve security if your workplace has it.
   • Call 999 and ask for the police if you or someone else is at immediate risk of injury.

8. Write down the essentials while fresh.

   • Record the date, time, place, channel, names if known, witnesses, and what support was called.
   • Write the exact short phrases used, especially threats, unwanted sexual comments, racist or other discriminatory language, or repeated abuse.
   • Note what you did: boundary given, manager called, call placed on hold, handover, or move to a safer area.

9. Ask for the incident to be logged.

   • Tell your manager it was work-related verbal abuse, aggression, or threats and ask for it to be recorded.
   • If there is a violence, aggression, accident, security, or safeguarding incident log, ask for it to be added there.
   • If the abuse included unwanted sexual conduct or language linked to race, sex, disability, religion, sexual orientation, gender reassignment, or age, also use your harassment or discrimination reporting route.

10. If you reasonably believe there is serious and imminent danger, prioritise safety.

• Step away from the immediate risk if you can do so safely.
• Tell your manager as soon as you can what danger you believed existed and what you did to protect yourself or others.
• Keep your note factual and short; you can seek specialist advice later if there is any dispute about what happened.