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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
a partner keeps pressuring you into sex or sexual acts after you say no

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Move towards the safest available place and create distance from your partner if you can do so safely. You do not have to keep explaining or negotiating after saying no.

Do not do these things

  • Do not remain alone with your partner to debate your decision if you can safely avoid it.
  • Do not confront them about their behaviour if you think that could increase the danger.
  • Do not assume that being in a relationship, living together, or having agreed before means you must agree now.
  • Do not feel that you must report to the police before seeking medical care or specialist support.
  • Do not make major decisions about the relationship while dealing with immediate danger or distress.

What to do now

  1. If you are in immediate danger, move to the safest place available and call 999 for the police. If you cannot speak during a mobile 999 call, listen to the operator and press 55 if prompted.
  2. Contact someone you trust. Ask them to collect you, let you come to them, stay with you, or remain on the phone while you reach a safer pause.
  3. Use a phone or device your partner cannot access if you think they monitor your calls, messages, accounts, or browsing.
  4. Contact a specialist domestic abuse or sexual violence service. You can ask about immediate safety and support without first deciding whether to report to the police or end the relationship.
  5. If sexual contact happened without your consent and you have pain, injuries, pregnancy concerns, or worries about sexually transmitted infections, contact a sexual assault service, GP, sexual health clinic, or A&E.
  6. If you may want a record later and it is safe, keep relevant messages or make a brief note of what happened somewhere your partner cannot access, but do not put yourself at risk to preserve anything.

What can wait

You do not need to decide now whether to report, leave permanently, tell other people, choose a legal label, or work out every detail of what happened. Focus first on reaching a safer pause, contacting one supportive person, and getting any urgent medical or specialist help you need.

Important reassurance

This is not your fault. Being married, being in a relationship, living together, agreeing previously, or agreeing to one sexual act does not take away your right to say no or stop.

Scope note

This guide covers immediate first steps only. Later decisions about housing, reporting, legal protection, healthcare, or the relationship may require specialist help.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, safeguarding, therapeutic, or other professional advice. Call 999 if you or someone else is in immediate danger.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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