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UK
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USA
What to do if…
a partner refuses, removes, or pressures you not to use agreed sexual protection
Short answer
Move to a safer pause and stop the sexual activity if you can do so safely. If unprotected contact occurred, contact a sexual assault referral service or sexual health service promptly about support and any time-sensitive healthcare.
Do not do these things
- Do not continue sexual activity because you feel you owe your partner or need to keep them calm.
- Do not confront your partner while alone if you think they may become threatening or violent.
- Do not force yourself to decide immediately what to call what happened or whether to report it.
- Do not assume contraception also protects against sexually transmitted infections.
- Do not rely only on your partner’s assessment of pregnancy or infection risk.
- Do not blame yourself for freezing, becoming quiet, or not reacting immediately.
What to do now
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Move away from the sexual situation and get somewhere you feel safer, if possible. Call 999 if you are in immediate danger, have serious injuries, or need urgent medical help.
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Stop the activity or withdraw consent if it feels safe to communicate. You can say, “Stop. I agreed only with protection,” without debating or renegotiating your boundary.
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Contact someone you trust or a specialist sexual violence service. You can ask a sexual assault referral service about medical, practical, and emotional support without first deciding whether to report to the police.
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If pregnancy is possible, contact a sexual health service, GP practice, pharmacy, or sexual assault referral service as soon as possible about emergency contraception. Depending on the method, it may be used within 3 to 5 days, and it generally works better the sooner it is used.
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If HIV exposure may be possible, contact a sexual health clinic or A&E urgently and within 72 hours to ask whether post-exposure prophylaxis, known as PEP, is appropriate.
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Ask a sexual health service when to test for sexually transmitted infections. Different infections have different testing windows, so an immediate test may not detect every infection.
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If you may want a forensic examination and it feels manageable, try not to wash or change clothes before speaking to a sexual assault referral service, although you can still seek support if you have already done either.
What can wait
You do not need to decide now whether to report what happened, end the relationship, confront your partner, tell other people, or choose a legal label. You also do not need to work out every healthcare option yourself; a sexual health professional or sexual assault referral service can help identify what is time-sensitive.
Important reassurance
Agreeing to sexual activity only with protection did not mean agreeing to it without that protection. Freezing, becoming quiet, or going along because you felt pressured or unsafe does not make what happened your fault. Specialist support and healthcare are available whether or not you choose to report.
Scope note
This guide covers immediate safety, support, and time-sensitive healthcare only. Later decisions about the relationship, reporting, or legal options may require specialist support.
Important note
This is general information, not legal, medical, therapeutic, or other professional advice. A qualified healthcare professional or specialist support service can assess your circumstances and explain the options available where you live.
Additional Resources
- nhs.uk — Help after rape and sexual assault
- nhs.uk — Emergency contraception
- Tht — PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV)
- NHS inform — Help after a rape or sexual assault
- GOV.WALES — Sexual violence
- nidirect — Getting help after sexual violence
- Rape Crisis England & Wales — Want to talk?
- SurvivorsUK — National Male and Non-Binary Survivors Helpline
About this guide
This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.