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uk Death, bereavement & serious family crises

What to do if…
you have a family court or custody hearing soon after a death

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Check the hearing notice now, contact the court using that route today, and ask how to request a short adjournment or remote attendance because of a close bereavement. Unless a court order or safety issue means you should not contact them directly, tell the other party or their solicitor in writing that you have asked the court.

Do not do these things

  • Don’t assume the hearing will be moved automatically because there has been a death.
  • Don’t ignore the date until you feel able; the court may still make directions or orders if you do not attend or explain the problem.
  • Don’t send long emotional messages to the other party; keep messages short, factual, and only about the hearing.
  • Don’t share more detail than needed; “a close bereavement affecting my ability to attend” is usually enough at first.
  • Don’t agree to major changes to where the child lives, travel, passports, or handovers while you are in shock just to reduce pressure.
  • Don’t use a form or pay a fee unless the court tells you that is the correct route for your case.

What to do now

  1. Put the hearing details in one note.
    Copy the case number, the parties’ names as written on the notice, the hearing date and time, the court name, the attendance method, and the court email or phone number from the notice.

  2. Contact the court office or listing team today.
    Use the contact route on the hearing notice first. If you cannot find it, use the official court route for your part of the UK: England and Wales, Scotland, or Northern Ireland.
    In your message, include:

    • the case number and parties’ names
    • the hearing date and time
    • one-line reason: “a close bereavement affecting my ability to attend”
    • what you are asking for: a short adjournment, permission to attend remotely, or a short directions-only hearing
    • whether any funeral, registration, childcare, or caregiving issue clashes with the hearing
    • what confirmation you can provide now or soon, such as a funeral director’s note, registrar confirmation, or death certificate when available

  3. Ask the court exactly what it needs next.
    Court process and forms vary by court and by part of the UK. The court may tell you to send a short written request, file an application, provide evidence, or attend the start of the hearing to make the request to the judge.
    Ask:

    • “What is the correct way to request an adjournment or remote attendance in this case?”
    • “Do I need to file a form or application?”
    • “If my case is in England or Wales, is Form C2 the correct form for this request?”
    • “Do you need the other party’s position before the judge considers it?”
    • “If no decision is made before the hearing, should I still attend and ask at the start?”

  4. Tell the other party or their solicitor briefly, unless you should not contact them directly.
    Send a short written message. For example: “A close bereavement has occurred and it affects my ability to attend the hearing on [date]. I have contacted the court today to ask about [adjournment or remote attendance]. I will update you when the court responds.”
    Keep a copy or screenshot.

  5. Make a backup plan in case the hearing still goes ahead.
    Prepare a one-page note you can read from. Include:

    • that there has been a close bereavement
    • what you are asking the judge to do today
    • whether you can attend in person, by phone, or by video
    • what limited child arrangements can safely continue for now
    • any urgent child-safety issue, only if one truly exists

  6. If the death affects the child’s immediate care, say that clearly.
    Tell the court, and the other party if appropriate, who is caring for the child now, what has been disrupted, and what short-term direction is needed to keep the child’s routine stable until the case can be dealt with properly.

  7. Get practical help if you are representing yourself.
    A court support charity may be able to help you understand what the court is asking for, organise your papers, and keep your request short. They cannot make decisions for you or act as your solicitor.

What can wait

  • You do not need to solve the whole case this week.
  • You do not need to write a long statement today unless the court specifically asks for one.
  • You do not need every bereavement document before contacting the court.
  • You can delay detailed proposals and wider negotiations until you know whether the hearing is going ahead, being shortened, being moved, or being held remotely.

Important reassurance

Bereavement can cause panic, brain fog, and a feeling that everything must be fixed at once. The immediate goal is smaller: make sure the court knows, reduce the chance of decisions being made without your explanation, and avoid rushed agreements while you are overwhelmed.

Scope note

These are first steps for the immediate days around a custody or family court date after a death. Later decisions about evidence, final child arrangements, court strategy, or disputed applications may need specialist legal help.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice, medical advice, therapeutic advice, financial advice, or any other professional advice. Court process and forms vary by court and by part of the UK, so use the hearing notice and the court’s own instructions as the source for what to file and how to ask for an adjournment or remote attendance.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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