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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
an ex keeps sending unwanted sexual messages from new accounts after you have blocked them

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy USA guide

Short answer

Move to a safer pause and do not engage with the new account. If there is immediate danger or you need immediate police, fire, or ambulance help, call 911; otherwise, block and report the account and reduce who can contact you.

Do not do these things

  • Do not reply to the new account unless communication is unavoidable or a specialist safety plan suggests otherwise.
  • Do not argue, explain, or try to reason with them through messages.
  • Do not post screenshots or accusations publicly while you are being targeted; this may expose more information or increase contact.
  • Do not delete messages in panic before deciding whether you want to save a small record.
  • Do not make privacy or password changes on a device you think may be monitored if a safer device is available.
  • Do not pressure yourself to decide about a formal report or legal options right now.

What to do now

  1. Reach a safer pause.
    Silence message notifications or step away from the app. If there is immediate danger or you need immediate police, fire, or ambulance help, call 911.

  2. Block and report the new account.
    If available, use the platform’s report option for unwanted sexual messages or harassment, then block the account.

  3. Reduce repeat access.
    Where available, limit messages from unknown accounts, restrict tags and comments, and hide stories or online status from people you do not trust.

  4. Save only a small record if it feels safe.
    If it feels safe and you may want help later, save a small record, such as screenshots showing the account, message, and date, before blocking.

  5. Use a safer device if you suspect monitoring.
    If you think your device or account may be monitored, use a safer device if available before changing passwords or privacy settings.

  6. Ask one trusted person for a check-in.
    You can say: “My ex is contacting me from new accounts. I am not replying. Can you check in with me later?”

  7. Use specialist support if you want it.
    The National Domestic Violence Hotline can discuss support and safety planning. If the sexual messages are connected to sexual abuse or you want sexual-violence support, RAINN is another option.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide today whether to make a formal report or explore legal options.
  • You do not need to organise every message.
  • You do not need to confront your ex.
  • You do not need to overhaul every account setting at once.
  • You do not need to explain your choices to anyone.

Important reassurance

This contact is not your fault. Feeling upset, frozen, disgusted, or overwhelmed is understandable. You do not have to answer, explain, or solve every next step today.

Scope note

These are first steps only, intended to reduce contact and buy time. Later decisions may need help from a specialist support service or another appropriate professional.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, financial, therapeutic, or other professional advice. If there is immediate danger or you need immediate police, fire, or ambulance help, call 911.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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